Shadows of Bankor

(expecting)

Petrus stood on the beach. Or, quite nearly on the beach; just a little ways back, close enough to be in the shade of some trees. He was dressed in very casual clothing indeed, exercise pants and a tank-top, his feet bare. He breathed slowly in and out.

Back in the temple, he would have used a training saber. He could use his real saber, but he did not want to activate it except in times of real need. And so, instead, he raised his practice saber, holding it in front of him in a proper stance.

Slowly, he began to move through the forms, offensive and defensive. Moving over sand was a different experience, but he adapted quickly, moving with grace. He was getting better, that much was clear.

Jenna took the long way around, the way that once she saw Petrus she knew he wouldn't noticed her for a while. It gave her time to watch her brother train as if no one was watching, and that reminded her a lot of what she came back for.

Setting down a small bag of things on the beach, she approached the last stretch of space and spoke as soon as he would notice her, "Don't think I've ever caught you training before... You look," she shrugged, "uh, good at it?"

Despite not seeing her, Petrus didn't seem especially surprised by his sister's approach; whether Jedi tranquility or some shared connection between brother and sister was hard to say.

He cast her a quick smile, even as he finshed the form; leaving it unfinished seemed like not finishing a song or a poem. Once it was done, he flipped the stick in his hand, bringing it back down to his side.

He turned to face her. "Hey, thanks. And yeah, I believe it. I spent a lot of time... not training these last few years. It's only lately that I've really started doing it again."

By that time she'd taken up residence on a nearby trunk, leaning against it on her shoulder, "I'm glad," she said, a smile, "it's really good to see you.. well.. I wanted to apologize, Petrus," she said, coming off the trunk with a lean and then walking over to the space just a few steps away. Jenna wasn't wearing the old baggy grey jumpsuit sorta ensemble she'd had going for so long. Now, she had a jacket she'd left behind by the tree and a black tank-top, slim pants, a blaster was strapped snugly at her hip, she looked like she'd come back stronger from her weeks of self-reflection.

"When.." she started before he could respond, "when I fell apart. I.. I didn't see you, totally, or at least I didn't act like I knew how brave and strong you'd become. I had been so used to how you were, when I first found you, I.. I learned to want to protect you, to know you needed protection and it's taken me some time but I think I've finally realized, fully, that you don't need your little sister protecting you from the world anymore. You were in such a.. a state when I first found you, coddled by your experience in the temple and I had so much experience with the world outside that I felt like I needed to keep you from drowning, so I did, for so long.. and even when you didn't need it anymore. I should," she pauses for a second, reassures herself, "I should have told you everything sooner, I should have gotten you in to help me out sooner, to.. rely on you, like the capable brother I know you are."

"So, I'm sorry," she finished, thrusting her hands into her pockets and looked at her brother.

Petrus looked at her fondly. "Jenna..." He smiled. "You don't have to apologize. Really. Or if you do, then I have to, too. I mean, what would you call what I've been doing for most of the last three and a half years, if not falling apart."

Gently, he shook his head. "I really did need your help. A lot, and for a long time. It's only lately that I've..." he pursed his lips, considering, "-remembered who I am. So, yeah. Seriously. You don't have anything to apologize for."

His smile grew. "But hey, we can still help each other, right? Even if we can also stand on our own?"

"Yea," she said, smiling with her hand on one hip standing on uneven ground.

"Yea we can, now c'mere," she said, bringing her arms up and walking toward him, "give your little sister a huuug~"

Grinning, Petrus collapsed his stick, tucking it into his pocket. He met Jenna, arms extended, wrapping them around her. It seemed that, in addition to growing more confident these last months, he was also getting to be a better hugger.

"Love you, sis." He said as they squeezed each other.

Holding her brother, squeezing him tight, "Love ya, big bro," she managed out between efforts.

Releasing him she took a step and regarded him for a moment, "So," she paused to smile for a second, she'd been managing those again, "any big plans moving forward you've come up with? What's next for the other half of the last remaining," at least members worthy of being important enough to be considered, "Karaths?"

Petrus smile did not fade entirely, but his expression grew significantly more serious.

"Tomorrow, me and a few of the other Padawans are to be tested." He said. "By Master Oraka and Master Surro. If we pass, we will be considered full Jedi." It was a little unclear how he felt about this.

"Does that," she looked thoughtful for a second, raised a brow, shrugged. "I.." she hesitated, "Ok, I don't get this whole Jedi business, at all. I mean, I get it, but.. the people who took you away, these rules, and regulations, and trials... does it even matter? Who're they to say you've made it, or.. that you can pass some stupid trial? The orders.." she stopped short, gritted her teeth and exhaled in a little wave of frustration.

"Sorry, anyway," she inhaled, and let it out, "Oraka seems.. like someone who matters to you, at least his opinion, at least a bit? And he's at least an actual person, yea? But what machine has a right to tell my brother if he is or isn't a Jedi?"

Slowly, Petrus shook his head. "I don't really know what it means. But it's not just following some rules. The trials are more than that. It's hard to explain, but if I am ready... then I should take them."

His lips pressed together. "And it's more than that. If we can pass them, it means that there really are still some Jedi left, besides Oraka. That we didn't all die. The Order isn't gone." He looked at her. "Does that make sense? I mean, I'm not saying things should go back to the way they were. But there was some good, there."

"It makes sense," she said, glancing to the side, "I just," she looked back, a furrowed brow as she tried to understand, "I don't.. like, I get it, the Order is important to you and all but," she shook her head.

"These trials," she broke into that avenue instead, leaving the other thought behind, "take them if you want, if you think it'll prove something but regardless of what they say, not that I don't think you'll ace 'em or whatever, but just.. you already are, Petrus, I don't think anyone out there can argue otherwise. People look up to Jedi the way people look up to you," she shrugs, "simple, really."

Petrus looked at her, understanding flashing in his blue eyes. Of course. To him, the Order was where he'd spent most of his life, where so many of his friends came from, and he'd seen the good they'd done. To Jenna, they were the group who took her older brother away.

"I don't know if it will prove anything, honestly." Petrus said. "I think it will let me learn something about myself."

His lips quirked. "But I don't know if people look up to me. Well, maybe with one exception." He smiled at his little sister. "But hey, if it helps, I look up to her, too, in a way."

"I," she furrowed her brow, look aside, hmmph. All of the recent mistakes she made colored her perception of herself pretty darkly. Made thinking of it, that she could possibly be someone her brother looks up to, seem improbable or at least wrong.

Still, for this too she used his example as inspiration, and let the thought go, "Thanks, Petrus, and I do. Always have, in one way or another, even after they took you I was just glad you were free of them," she paused. "Anyway, I don't understand these trials but if you think they'll teach you something important then I'm all for it. Anyway I can help?"

Petrus frowned. "Not... actively, I don't think. Your support and your good thoughts help, of course." He smiled at her. "In fact, that might help more than anything else. But in the end, it's all down to me."

He tilted his head, looking at her with a grin. "But if you've got any advice... hey, Jedi don't actually have a monopoly on saying wise things, even if we sometimes like to think we do."

Jenna thought for a moment, spun on her heel and then went to sit over by the tree. Relaxing down she'd looked back to her brother, "I got it," she said, proud of the memory, "pay attention to the details."

"For a thief, the details matter. Little things like, the fact that a guard likes a special shake across town on his break and this means you know he will probably be a few minutes late and cause a lack in attention for you to slip through. It matters, other places too, but... Well," she shrugged, a half chuckle, "heh."

"Alright." Petrus said, smiling. "That's pretty good. I'll keep it in mind tomorrow. Who knows, it might be just what I need."

He brushed a hand across his face. "Honestly, I really don't know what to expect. Except that it'll probably be very personal." He smiled, but it was a little hesitant. "I'm... kinda nervous, y'know."

"I don't really understand it well enough but.. I think I get it? If it touches on you, more than anything else, sorta.. looking yourself in the mirror," she thought about that for a second or two, "it's not always an easy thing."

"Yeah." Petrus said, grimacing gently. "I did some of that lately. It wasn't great." He straightened. "But... it did help me get to where I am now."

He tilted his head, regarding her with a smile. "Sounds like you've done some of that too, huh?"

"Had to," she glanced over toward the ocean again, a source of comfort and many thoughts she'd shared about everything that's happened, and might yet happen. "Don't really come through.. guess, Vandil, when she popped up on that holo instead of Tididol my life flashed before my eyes. I thought it was over, that I was dead, you were dead, and that I'd finally messed up enough to throw both of our lives away."

"Still," she dug the heel of her boot into the ground a bit, "she's keeping me alive cause she needs me. So, I can still do something about it. I.. I lost the part of me that could believe in something like that, the part that learned it because she wasn't all that afraid to lose anything. I needed to find that again somehow, now that I am afraid to lose something," she sighed, broke up the thoughts to two. "My dream of us just.. running away, just sorta vanished in that moment.. and, well, guess I've just had to figure out where that leaves me," she said, not leaving much room for pausing. Keeping the thought going.

"Who does that makes me? What does that mean I have to do, what do I want, what's the next step?"

"Hey." Petrus said with a smile, reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder. "Just because that dream vanished doesn't mean you can't have a new one, right? I mean, maybe it's not just you and me off somewhere quiet."

He looked at her, smiling gently. "But maybe it can be you, and me, and Xanna, and Liua, all on a ship together. That's a good start, right?"

"Yea," she looked up, a soft and earnest smile, "yea, that's a nice start. Still," she glanced out to the water again but this time it was less reflective and more, enjoying the view, "I'd like that farm someday, I think. When this is all over. Find some family, set up a nice quiet little life. Have you and Xanna over for dinner sometimes it," she let out a wishful sigh, "it could be nice, someday."

Petrus' lips parted, then pressed together again. "Don't forget Liua." He said after a moment. "You know she'd never forgive us if she didn't get invited, too."

"Well... where would you like? Here? Grow cram-berries?" Petrus grimaced. "Maybe something with fewer spiders, huh?"

"Liua can come too," she chuckled, "I just, I'm not sure the girls gonna wanna stay with us forever, you know? She's a lot of.. bigger things to worry about, still, if I get that farm she'll always have a home. Has my chance cube after all," she fell off into a thought, "connects us a bit, and maybe.. honestly, the spiders kinda grew on me a bit. Creepy, crawly, but, well," she shrugged, "guess the way the locals reacted with them changed my opinion a bit."

"They're almost a little cute, in a way.."

"Yeah, she does." Petrus said, shaking his head with a smile. "But I hope she knows that we'll always be there when she needs us. Maybe I should tell her myself, huh?"

He shuddered. "If you say so. Gave me the creeps. One went in my mouth..." He shuddered again.

His expression turned thoughtful. "I guess maybe we can't always control what we're afraid of. But we can try to control how we react to that fear."