Shadows of Bankor

It had been a long couple of days. Qareme was sure there was more to come, but everything that she had faced today required time to digest. She had managed to find some quiet alone time aboard the ship within what had become her bedroom (you could tell because the only thing in it was Qareme).

Instead of laying in the bed though, she sat in the middle of the room, legs crossed and eyes closed. Her staff laying in front of her.

Master Hin had said to reflect on what she had learnt. It had never left her thoughts since leaving the cave after her failed attempt at the trials.

What would Master Claflem have said? she couldn't help but think back to her master, the trial having brought that to the forefront again. She would have listened, and then told her another story. One with an ending that provided a lesson she wouldn't have understood until a day later. Master Hin was different, his teachings had less stories and speeches but reached the same conclusion.

Am I worthy? There was doubt. She had seen true fear in her trial, and where she believed she would be strongest she felt weak. Even now remembering the sound of Vader made her shudder. She had faced the Inquisitor and held her beliefs, and almost immediately surrendered when faced with him.

Maybe the Sixth can guide me? But I am not a knight... she was not ready for them. Not ready to be a knight. Could she protect others, like she believed she could?

She closed her eyes, calmed her breathing and meditated in her room on what she had faced and what she could face.

D6 LE Meditation thread - Discipline at hard - force dice added: 2eA+2eP+1eF+3eD 2 successes, 1 threat, 1 Dark Side


(because it feels fitting, let's flip that dark side again)

She reflects on those decisions made out of selfishness and shortsightedness those times when she chose the path of expedience over understanding but her own mind magnified their gravity and effect.

It gnawed at her insecurities and anxieties.

Am I doing the right thing?

Qareme couldn't but ball her fists.

"I have only acted out of protection" she spoke quietly to seemingly nobody but herself "is that..."

Is that wrong?

It took some time, but eventually Qareme managed to get her thoughts in order. Except the order seemed to make less sense than at the start. She had spent her time here trying to guide and protect others, but when she analysed them more things became less clear; was she allowing others to follow their own path because it was the easy thing to do? Was she truly guiding anyone?

13th Sister wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:25 am

“There is the Strong and the Weak.”

The words from her imprisonment echoed around the walls of her room, like a mockery of her own misery. She opened her eyes in a panic and looked up, but there was nobody there. Her breathing was slightly panicked.

"That is not..." she trailed off. Qareme was so sure of her words then as she stared into the mask of the sister. She had seen a flicker of light then, when she had meditated with her, and that made her more sure of her words. Now though, she had doubts. Maybe I am not strong?

Lord Vader wrote: ↑

Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:26 pm

"Your training is incomplete, Qareme. You are weak."

Hearing Vaders voice again filled her with terror. He is right. I have proven too many times that I am not ready. Her breathing became deeper as she tried to calm her mind. Would she ever be ready, or would she continue to be a burden upon others?

"I...I can do this. I know I can. I must be able to" she whispered, a sound more like desperation than conviction.

Lord Vader wrote: ↑

Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:26 pm

"You will never complete your training if you continue to cling to your weakness. All that is left is to sever the ties. This is your destiny."

"But.." she started before being cut off by a crimson saber in front of her eyes, and those words. She looked up, her breathing more panicked as she saw him. Except the saber wasn't his. It belonged to a large woman standing with him, who turned to look down at Qareme with cold eyes as Vader looked down upon her as well. Qareme was frozen to the spot as this dark version of herself raised her saber and slashed out at her....

-----

Qareme sat up, her breath caught in her throat. Her face felt on fire, and she was sweating heavily. Had she fallen asleep? What time was it?

"What was..." she whispered, trying to calm her breathing. That cannot be my future. It cannot.

As Qareme stood though, her resolve was not as strong as it was. She lent heavily on her staff to stay standing, not due to physical stress but mental. Just as she finally calmed her breathing, the lights in the room flicked out, and she was left standing alone in the darkness with the metallic sound of breathing echoing around the room that only she could hear....

/fade out

/scene