Shadows of Bankor

"... I'm sorry?" Dove said to herself as if she was rehearsing what she was going to say. There was something impersonal about doing this over the holo, but... she understood that the Jedi couldn't risk too much attention drawn to their Secret Moon Base. It was for the better.

She'd been putting off this conversation for a good while. At first because she wasn't in the right mindset for it, and then because she figured he wasn't in the right mindset for it... and now it was kind of just, like a shadow stuck to her shoe like gum. Uncomfortable.

Another deep breath, and then she placed in the call to Valus before she had the time to think better of it. Too late to turn back now.

After a moment Valus answered and said, "This is Valus, has something happened?"

"Ah..." there was that awkward feeling again. She hadn't really called any of her targets before to... apologise?

"No, nothing that I need to report, si-- Valus." Dove sighed and sat down on a chair opposite of the transciever. "I just... sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting?"

"I was only meditating," he said in a calm tone. "Did you need to speak with someone?"

"I was hoping to speak with you." Well, she said it now.

"Eh... it's really awkward, but..." Dove rubbed her neck, "I wanted to apologise, Valus. To you."

His response was a simple, "Why?"

The why was both simple and complicated. At least to her.

"Because I lied to you... and well, played you for a fool. At least for a while. And for that I'm sorry, since I understand that your situation wasn't easy either." It was still weird to think he was trying to turn over a new leaf, but that was part of why she was doing this. "You needed someone to trust, someone to help you. I wasn't that person."

"... I've been learning more about all this Jedi-stuff lately, and how difficult it all is to deal with. I thought, maybe, this might help you some." The awkward sincerity was at least sincere.

"You did simply what you needed to do," he said calmly. "I would have killed you otherwise."

"Thank you, but it is me that should apologize to you."

"To be fair, people have threatened to do the same and far worse to me over the years," she chuckled nervously, before her expression turned a bit more solemn again.

"... You had the chance, but you didn't. And I'm glad you didn't - I do like being alive, but... I sensed you were not yourself when I met you then." And then he was completely different the next time. "Apology accepted though."

"I was myself," he said.

"I am myself now, I simply chose to be a better self."

She nodded, though not yet fully understanding what had happened.

"May I... ask why you didn't kill me back then?"

"Which time?" he asked cryptically.

That made her snort a brief laugh.

"Right. Uh, I meant when it seemed the Admiral was trying to set me up for you to kill, though... well, I do wonder why you decided to bring me to your side to begin with, and not just hurt me when you noticed I was hiding something from you."

She held up her hands. "You don't have to answer any of it at all, of course. Whatever helps you, sir. I don't wanna make things worse." Dove noticed she slipped into the more respective term of adress and briefly wondered if that was a mistake.

"You were a means to an end that seemed important at the time," he said in reply.

It had seemed a very mutual relationship all in all. And she nodded in understanding.

"Good thing we were of use to eachother," she smiled, her confidence returning with the gesture. "... I hope you're doing better now. If it helps, I don't have any ill will towards you. And that's the truth."

"I am trying, it is a long road and I am not sure if I will ever be whole," he said honestly.

A feeling she could relate to, but Dove decided against saying she did. And kept the focus on him instead.

"Hey, you'll get better, ok? You're strong, and if already crossed the biggest hurdle, I believe you can do this." Maybe it was the past weeks falling more into a leadership role, but she was willing to show him that support for now.

"If there's anything I can do for you, just ask and I'll see what I can do. I'm no Jedi or powerful person, but if you just need someone to talk to, you can call anytime - I probably won't get a chance to visit your moon palace anytime soon."

"Thank you, Dove," he said with a nod. "You are a kind person."

"I'm really not, but I try to be a better person when I can be. Trying is the least I can do, even if it doesn't always work out." Petrus would probably say that was nonsense and that she was a good person.

"Just... don't think it was all a lie, during that time. There were some good times in there, when I didn't have to lie to you. It's why I came back for you, after all."

"I should return to my meditations, Dove," he said in response.

"Of course," she nodded, willing to accomodate whatever was best for him.

"Take care, Valus."

He nodded and said, "You as well, Dove."

He ended the call.