[Day 8 - LA] Getting a Breath

[Elaranu]

"Yes, there are many ways to live. This is my own. I would rather own up to it and live that way to the best of my ability than constantly look to change. Of course, it is a fine line between improving oneself and change for change's sake.''

[Daunt]

He thought about it. "So you prioritise constancy over improvement, or are just risk-averse?"

[Elaranu]

"Consistency more than the risk adversity. Though I suppose both are involved. I just prefer things where I know the outcome compared to things where I have no way of knowing. I do know that that is a weakness, but as I said before, I can work with my weaknesses as long as I am aware of them. I think."

[Daunt]

"You think." He challenged that with a tease in his voice. "When was the last time you decided to do something outside of your comfort zone?"

[Elaranu]

'You are outside my comfort zone, at the least. Being at this base is outside my comfort zone. But if you mean something I chose to do outside my zone of comfort, I am not entirely sure why I would choose to do so.''

[Daunt]

"Can you reasonably assume that you know all about yourself there is to know?" For now he pocketed that designation of him.

[Elaranu]

"Not in the slightest, actually. I am well aware there are many things I do not know about myself. If I knew of a better way to find those things out than simple experimentation, I would be all ears..."

[Daunt]

"There's wild experimentation and one in which you choose and maybe even control some circumstances. The world is not a lab but not everything has to be unpredictable." He offered.

[Elaranu]

She looked up from her steak at him, "You seem experienced in these matters. Am I incorrect?"

[Daunt]

"By these matters you mean controlled experimentation in general or something in particular, like cooking?" He lifted himself slightly up in the hammock, broad arms outside the netting, and looked at her curiously. "But there's a good chance that wherever you mean, you're not incorrect."

[Elaranu]

"I meant the process of finding out about yourself. Myself, I left home not too long ago, and I think my own process is relatively new. Not that I did not find things out on my homeworld... but certainly things have been of a different scale since I left."

[Daunt]

"In that regard I wouldn't call myself overly accomplished. But the only advances I've made were when I stepped out of beliefs ingrained in me by people who had had power over me before." He gave it some serious thought. "I sought or sensed and opening, then took it. I think I am already more than I used to be before coming to Bankor."

[Elaranu]

"Is that why you are here with the rebels? An attempt to step out from under people that might have power over you?"

[Daunt]

"It's certainly one of the reasons." He admitted.

[Elaranu]

She took some more bites as she looked at him thoughtfully. If he did not speak up, she would do so for a good half minute, with a thoughtful expression on her face.

[Daunt]

He spoke up, quietly.

"It's when, having been shaped as an instrument of someone's will, you suddenly discover that you're predisposed to be more than that. And the more you try it out, the more the hunch gets vindicated. What you discover is often chaotic, perplexing, painful and unsafe, but your own. Because I think the biggest questions about yourself have no answer in manuals written by others."

[Elaranu]

She responded after a moment, "I see. Well, I suppose finding a balance would be nice. Not going all in, yet doing so, knowing that things can sometimes only discovered that way.''

Looking at him, "You are somewhat mysterious, to me. But perhaps that is the same sort of mystery we are talking about here."

[Daunt]

"Finding a balance would indeed be nice. For me, it's perhaps to reflect. For you, it's probably to step out." He met her gaze with his molten uranium own. "You may be right that it's part of that, because I am not purposefully mysterious, it's just the unexplained part of who I am. But if you want to ask me something personal, don't hesitate."

[Elaranu]

"Hm... well... perhaps, if you could tell me about how you came to Bankor. You do not need to say anything too intimate or personal, but I think that might help me understand some things."

[Daunt]

"I've been put her as a tool by someone who's rendered me one. As such, I wasn't even sure what I was meant to do. But when the order actually came, I defied it because acting on it would unmake everything I had come to believe about myself when I had been on my own. And now I'll be facing the consequences of that choice I hadn't even known I could make." He explained after some thought.

[Elaranu]

A slight smirk graced her lips, "I rescind what I said earlier; That made you more mysterious than you were before. But I suppose it was informative as well. Just one of many things where the more answers you get, the more questions there are."

[Daunt]

He chuckled at that. "You can keep asking and see where it brings you. But let's add a condition: you reveal one thing about yourself of your choosing each time you do."

[Elaranu]

''Do I need to choose the thing myself, or will you be asking me for things in turn?"

[Daunt]

"You choose yourself. I am not a prying type. My experience with women is that when they're given initiative they are way more interesting and insightful than when their behaviour is solicited." He kept his gaze on her.

[Elaranu]

''Ah... but how typical of a woman am I, I wonder?"