[D3LE] Warrior's Heart: A New Chapter

[Xanna Teevou]

"..."

Xanna watched the craziness unfolding but found herself more drawn to the others in the room. The expressions. The quantity of snacking.

It seemed to be drawing them in. Detaching them from the events of the day. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Maybe it brought them some peace?

"And you are saying there are how many episodes?"

[Vaya Mer'darrow]

"I don't know. I can't remember... I can't remember anything!"

Vaya let out a disgusted sound. "Ugh! Amnesia again? Drink!" she took another gulp, then glanced at Petrus, and then at the teenager "... responsibly."

[Fathynyu Kurrek]

Warrior's Heart: A dramatic betrayal involving 2 inappropriately dressed clawdite assassin queens

"Well O'course they can't kill him, chainmail bikinis don't provide appropriate protection, now ringmail on the other hand....."
Floats grabs a large fistful of popcorn and continues munching, clearly entranced by the awkwardly wonderful wire work on screen.

[Jenna Karath]

Jenna's seat was positioned well, so that no one need notice her attention frequently drifted from the screen. In fact, she'd been more interested in the people gathered, reading them a bit when she wasn't thinking off about something else.

Still, when the occasional head turned she offered a quick smile and looked back toward the screen innocently, as if she were merely checking around.

[Vaya Mer'darrow]

"Well O'course they can't kill him, chainmail bikinis don't provide appropriate protection, now ringmail on the other hand....."

Vaya grinned at her. "This might be the first time someone has complained about that aspect of their costuming." She shook her head. "Why are they Clawdite, anyway? They just get humans to play 'em. Two different humans for before and after the change, I guess."

[Fathynyu Kurrek]

Vaya grinned at her. "This might be the first time someone has complained about that aspect of their costuming." She shook her head. "Why are they Clawdite, anyway? They just get humans to play 'em. Two different humans for before and after the change, I guess."

"I'm just thinkin' about personal protection here. Those two were just lucky all the sword fighting was just swinging around and nobody actually got hit. And I reckon they're clawdite cuz of contracting you see. I bet you someone's agents would have been all mad if there were different humans playing the same character. Plus that trick where she inflates her bust woulda cost a lot of effects, but the Clawdite can just do it for free."
Pause
"Handy that."

[Xanna Teevou]

"Many of the females in this show will be having back problems. They are running around without sufficient support. Is there no safety advisor? They should at least have a sports bra for all this fighting." She looked at Petrus. "Is this part of the plot? Do they all have amnesia about their clothing options?"

[Sacha Ordo]

"Hmm... Yeah, even if they weren't as... Developed at they are, you need something or it's just painful," Sacha agreed. She outright laughed at the comment about clothing amnesia.

[Petrus Karath]

"Many of the females in this show will be having back problems. They are running around without sufficient support. Is there no safety advisor? They should at least have a sports bra for all this fighting." She looked at Petrus. "Is this part of the plot? Do they all have amnesia about their clothing options?"

"Oh no..." Chuckling, Petrus rubbed his face with one hand. "It's because it's a Holo Broadcast Office show. All of their originals throw in a bit of nudity and a bit of...

"Tell me!" Jaina pleaded.

"Never!" Grinned the kneeling Kryze scout.

Jaina turned away. Then, with a mighty battlecry, she spun, swinging her sword. His head smoothly separated from his shoulders, blood spurting dramatically. And then again. And then a little bit more. Jaina turned away, cleavage heaving as she breathed rage.

Petrus cleared this throat. "-and a bit of blood. I feel like they do it just because they can."

[Petrus Karath]

Jaina rode a speederbike through dense jungle. Her expression was serious, and the camo she wore was... tight.

In my old life, thousands from years from now, I sometimes hunted small game. A little bit of meat for a farmhouse stove.

She stopped, looking through electrobinoculars. The view switched, showing an armored Mandalorian. The Kryze symbol was accurate, the random spikes and painted skulls were not.

"Now, they are my prey." She lowered her electrobinoculars, frowned determinedly, and sped off again.

[Dove Gray]

"Sometimes some ample distraction can make up for mediocre armor," Dove chimed in with a knowing smirk.

[Dapper Dog]

"So who's the main character again?" Liua finally asked.

[Petrus Karath]

Petrus took a deep breath. This was gonna take a while.

"Okay, so she's Jaina Clearbrooke." Petrus said, pointing at the screen. "She's a settler on Bankor from about eighty years ago. But she found an old battle site and some Mandalorian graves, and traveled back more than three-thousand years, and met up with a Mandalorian group here on the planet. Their leader... ah, good timing..."

Dacen Stormheart stood, shirtless and very muscular, as smoke swirled about him. His eyes were closed.

"Your Warrior's Heart was wounded, when you fought the first Mandalore's spirit." An old man spoke to him, various vaguely mandalorian-looking symbols etched on a bone staff he held. "But it is still within you. You must find it again."

Dacen's eyes opened, and for a moment they blazed with fire; the special effects were decent. "I am ready." Dacen said, his voice rough.

"That's Dacen Stormheart. Jaina knows that he's gonna be Mandalore someday. When she first met him, he was kinda, well..." Petrus shrugged, "but then they fell in love, and like a billion other things happened."

[Dapper Dog]

"Wait this is a love story?" she asked with confusion. "Also what's a Mandalore? Isn't that a planet where bucket heads come... from..."

She looked at Sacha and added, "I meant bucket head like hey Petrus you are an idiot... because he's... whatever."

[Sacha Ordo]

"Mandalore is the planet. The Mandalore is the overall leader of the Mandalorians," she explained, restraining impatience. "We haven't had one everyone agreed on for a while."

"Hey Petrus, how long has this show been going?"

[Petrus Karath]

"Wait this is a love story?" she asked with confusion. "Also what's a Mandalore? Isn't that a planet where bucket heads come... from..."

She looked at Sacha and added, "I meant bucket head like hey Petrus you are an idiot... because he's... whatever."

Petrus just chuckled at the insult. "Well, it's mostly a love story, I guess. It's got a lot of other elements. Melodrama. Action. Questionable outfits. The usual."

"Mandalore is the planet. The Mandalore is the overall leader of the Mandalorians," she explained, restraining impatience. "We haven't had one everyone agreed on for a while."

"Hey Petrus, how long has this show been going?"

"Uhhh..." Petrus scratched his head. "About seven or eight years? I dunno. I only started watching it, uh, a few years ago." Since he came to Bankor.

"RRRAAAGGGHHHHH!" Dacen yelled. He was still shirtless, flexing, but now wearing a helmet, a big knife in his hand.

"SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Screeched the supposed Kath hound. It was bigger, and seemed more like some sort of bear. Or maybe a person in a bear suit.

"RRRAAAGGGHHHHH!" The two of them came together in a might clash. They rolled around on the ground for a while; careful observers might note that Dacen looked a tiny bit different. He got the upper hand, and stabbed the beast. Blood spurted.
And then again. And then again. Spurt, spurt. And then a little more. Then stopped.

Panting, Dacen, now back to his original appearance, rose to his knees. He struck the beast once more in the chest, carving, until he found the heart, bringing it to his lips...

Wincing, Petrus looked around at his audience.

[Dapper Dog]

Liua laughed and said, "This is funny, it's like Mr. HappyBoob but with more blood. I think I get it now."

She then added with her usual teenage detachment, "If you're into that kind of stuff."

[Mianerra Tavvos]

"As weird as this show is, I don't think it's that much weirder than our lives right now," Mia mentioned to Dove. She crossed her arms and thought awhile on a particular scene. "So clawdites can look really attractive but I'm not into their baseline form. Does that make me a bad person?"

[Sacha Ordo]

"Uhhh..." Petrus scratched his head. "About seven or eight years? I dunno. I only started watching it, uh, a few years ago." Since he came to Bankor.

"Huh. I wonder if they had to pivot on anything to keep going?" She mused. After all, the end of the Clone Wars was right in the middle of that run.

[Petrus Karath]

"Huh. I wonder if they had to pivot on anything to keep going?" She mused. After all, the end of the Clone Wars was right in the middle of that run.

Petrus was silent a moment, then nodded. "It's changed a bit, yeah. Jaina's, well, in the earlier seasons they said she could feel the Force. Now... they just say that she has some strange abilities. It's not that different, but you can notice it."

He looked back at the screen, lips compressing.

[Sacha Ordo]

Petrus was silent a moment, then nodded. "It's changed a bit, yeah. Jaina's, well, in the earlier seasons they said she could feel the Force. Now... they just say that she has some strange abilities. It's not that different, but you can notice it."

He looked back at the screen, lips compressing.

"... Sorry." Sacha, you kriffing moron, why did you have to say that out loud?

[Vaya Mer'darrow]

Liua laughed and said, "This is funny, it's like Mr. HappyBoob but with more blood. I think I get it now."

She then added with her usual teenage detachment, "If you're into that kind of stuff."

Vaya said, loudly enough so that the teen on the other side of the room could hear (and maybe a little louder, over the sound of the show and with the amplification of alcohol) "Sorry, Mister HappyBoob? What?"

[Dapper Dog]

“You know Mr. HappyBoob, it’s…” she sighed and then explained it, “It’s a show about a friendly bothan explorer who goes on trips around the galaxy to find historical things but… along the way he makes a lot of friends, has a lot of laughs and eats a lot of food.”

“It’s really funny, I mean if you’re a kid, I guess. It’s the best action musical serial on the holovids, or so I am told.”

[Vaya Mer'darrow]

"Why," Vaya hesitated, but between the rotgut and what the show had already shown the kid, not that much, "'boob'?" She made a cupping gesture at her own chest.

[Dapper Dog]

"Why," Vaya hesitated, but between the rotgut and what the show had already shown the kid, not that much, "'boob'?" She made a cupping gesture at her own chest.

"Because... HappyBoob is his name?" she said in reply. "His Bothan name is Happynicus Yasiki Ularius Booblarius III, but he goes by HappyBoob for short."